Define Your Success

Stop Living Someone Else’s Dream

Everyone wants to be successful, but what does that really mean? We have all grown up hearing from our parents, friends, late night infomercials, and YouTube ads that success is having a fancy job, making absorbent amounts of money or constantly being surrounded by Ferraris and celebrities. Subconsciously we tend to hold ourselves up to these standards.

“DON’T DRINK THE KOOL AID!!It tastes sweet today, but it will give you cavities tomorrow. Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave, take the hill but first, answer the question, “What is my hill?”

– Matthew McConaughey

I know, these levels of success may seem fulfilling to some, but not everyone finds fulfillment in the same areas. If you are constantly following someone else’s dream, people may view you as successful, but deep down you may still feel unfilled. So, it’s crucial to figure out exactly what success means to you. Yes, this is going to take some reflection, so get ready!

When Was the Last Time You Were Proud of Yourself?

Throughout life there are moments for all of us. The ones you look back on and still feel that glimmer of success. My moment came when I graduated from college with an undergrad in mechanical engineering. No, wait, was that for me or… Okay, this is going to be difficult, so really think about it! My true moment was running the last mile after testing for my second-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I felt strong, and accomplished, and it was something I was truly willing to “suffer for”. Looking back at past accomplishments and my feelings in those moments really structured my point of view on success.

If you are having trouble defining your version of success, answer the following questions. I mean, sit down, think hard, reflect and write down what success means to you.

1. What are your preconceived notions of success? Who in your life has written out the path they feel you need to take to be successful? (parents, friends, colleagues, etc.)
2. Describe in detail how this path to success looks. Are you interested in this path deep down?
3. If you followed this path, how would that make you feel? Joyful? Unfulfilled?
4. When was the last time you were truly proud of yourself? What were you doing? Did you lose yourself in the moment?
5. What is your dream? I’m talking about “living the dream”. (yes, the saying you sarcastically use to describe the everyday grind that you hate.). What would that really look like? And how do you feel in the moment where you reach that dream?

Now, sometimes your idea of success will evolve. As you try different careers, hobbies, and experience new relationships, you’ll narrow down what drives you the most. Things that you may have valued previously may be less than you expected them to be. Don’t get discouraged. This will help you define your success more clearly. Continue to use the power of elimination to hone in on your true passions. Find out what it is that makes you happy and give yourself permission to pursue it!

So, what is your definition of success?

Please comment and follow The Shed for updates on future blog posts.

(Photo Credit: Road in Great Smokey Mountains by Jake Blucker)